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Missouri to name every new bridge after senator

Missouri already has two bridges named after former senator Christopher "Kit" Bond, but that's not enough to satisfy the Missouri General Assembly, which now wants all future bridges to be named for him.

"We're not satisfied with just the new bridges at Hermann and Kansas City named for Kit Bond, we want everything," explained a spokesperson for the Missouri Republican Party.

Next week, the Missouri Department of Transportation will cut the ribbon on a new 23 foot culvert in Audrain County, to be dubbed the Kit Bond Commemorative Culvert. That will soon be followed by a new UCEB built in St. Louis County, to be officially called the Christopher S. Bond Viaduct Sponsored by Anheuser-Busch.

The plan has drawn fire, however, especially from Missouri Democrats. "First they want to name everything after Ronald Reagan, and now this. Sheesh," wrote a left-leaning blogger from St. Louis.

Lirpa Sloof, a popular Missouri radio host, said on the air yesterday, "Has anybody seen the new bridge at Hermann? It's butt ugly! Instead of being an honor for Kit Bond, the name of the bridge is the ultimate insult toward him. What a joke."

Happy April Fools Day!

Comments  (11)

Missouri to name every new bridge after senator
Posted April 16, 2012, by Moe (moesatriani [at] gmail [dot] com)

Although it would be super cool to have a bridge named after you, I think that It is little tacky to name a bridge after some people. At least the senator names are better than just having the sponsor company get the bridge named after them. I always like it when the company and builders of the bridge come up with a suitable name that actually fits the bridge and the scenery around it.

Missouri to name every new bridge after senator
Posted April 6, 2012, by John Goold (BlueWilliamus [at] yahoo [dot] com)

Dave,

I was using Mario because it would be tacky for anybody to name a bridge after themselves. They tend to be named by a new generation of politicians after the previous generation of politicians. Like now that Voinovich is retired we are going to have a bridge named after him in Cleveland. There are exceptions to that like Robert Byrd

Missouri to name every new bridge after senator
Posted April 3, 2012, by Dave Andrews

John,

That would be Andrew Cuomo. The old man has been out of office since '94. I wouldn't be too worried, though. No one is stupid enough to believe that these projects have been built solely due to some political hack's efforts. If they're needed, they'll be built regardless of who happens to be in office at that time.

The bridge always has been and always will be the Tappan Zee, regardless of any name attached to it. Ditto for the nearby Tri-Borough Bridge, which few people even know was re-named.

Dave

Missouri to name every new bridge after senator
Posted April 2, 2012, by David Yates (david_y [at] bellsouth [dot] net)

As a lasting tribute to the man, I would be in favor of naming every bridge about to be demolished after the Honorable Senator Kit Bond.

Missouri to name every new bridge after senator
Posted April 2, 2012, by Matthew Hart

Happy April Fool;s Day to you, too :)

Missouri to name every new bridge after senator
Posted April 1, 2012, by Kim Harvey

Maybe we should build a homemade bridge and name one after some crooked senator instead

Missouri to name every new bridge after senator
Posted April 1, 2012, by Nathan Holth (form3 [at] historicbridges [dot] org)

Nice to see someone other than myself comment that naming modern bridges after somebody is more of an insult than an honor, given how ugly modern bridges are.

Missouri to name every new bridge after senator
Posted April 1, 2012, by John Goold (BlueWilliamus [at] yahoo [dot] com)

I state my case on this. We are losing historic bridges unecessarily and often at greater financial costs so that modern politicians can name the new bridges. I am sure the new Tappan Zee bridge will be called the Mario Cuomo bridge. The new Hulton Bridge will be called the Rick Santorum bridge and so on.

Missouri to name every new bridge after senator
Posted April 1, 2012, by cornell (sbaziuk [at] sympatico [dot] ca)

They should be named after war heroes and veterans.

Missouri to name every new bridge after senator
Posted April 1, 2012, by Jason Smith (JDSmith77 [at] gmx [dot] net)

As if it will ever happen. Then they might as well name a new bridge after Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, Anne Coulter, Geraldo Rivera, and all the other Republican big-mouths for making a difference in the lives of many Americans! ;-) You gotta pull a pair of all nighters to pull this one off! Nice article! :-)

Missouri to name every new bridge after senator
Posted April 1, 2012, by Wes (webmaster [at] wkinsler [dot] com)

Great article, James. It reminds me of many of the "news" articles you wrote for the old Caperock website.